Thank you Tony, for the question and request for explanation.
Children are very sensitive and understand more than we actually give them credibility for. They are intelligent. I am not, however, campaigning for abuse of children, irresponsible corporal punishment or bullying of children, nor am I asking parents and the adult figure to use children as punching bags, muscle flexing, etc. NO. They should be corrected with LOVE.
As a young child, my father was very deliberate when it comes to corporal punishment. He will plan for it, engage me in the planning, give me several warnings and inform me of what will happen when next I
fail to meet his expectation. On the day of the punishment, he will invite me into his room/space, have a good discussion with me on why he has finally arrived at punishing me. And then he will punish me.
I never forgot any of these encounters I had with my father - which were very few because no one would like to have it more than once.
As a father and a child advocate, I used this with my children and believe you me, none of my three children will like to be punished by me. So, they do what is needed most times on their own and to avoid my punishment. This is corrective.
Parents should deliberately engage their children in a one on one discussion before any form of punishment. They should think through it with the affected child, and sometimes allow the child to decide what should be done. Children understand when you punish them out of anger vs when you do it out of love.
They learn and grow faster this way.
Obinna Oleribe
CHIFA profile: Obinna O E Oleribe is Chief Executive Officer|E&F Management Care Centre, Abuja, Nigeria. Skype: Obinna. obinna.oleribe AT expertmanagers.org
Twitter: @OleribeO www.expertmanagers.org
